Happy Anniversary, New York

Yesterday marked my one year anniversary with moving to New York.  

In celebration, here's what this past year has taught me:

1.  In the end, you always find out who your true friends are.

This isn't unique to New York, but it's something I've discovered by moving away.  Learning the difference between an acquaintance and a true friend is important.  Knowing when to, and when not to trust people.

2.  When walking down the street, hold your head high and walk with determination.  

This causes most people to move out of your way.  Also, wear headphones so tourists don't ask you directions.  Sometimes I'm not even listening to music. 

3.  In the summer, the subway is hotter than hell.

Actually, most times the subway is hot.  I avoid the subway if I can, but that's because of my irrational fear of it shutting down mid-station and I have to jump out and walk among the rats and tunnel people.  Also, the movie Atonement has instilled a fear of drowning in a subway.  I'm told that this is nearly impossible, because there is an excellent pump system that keeps the subway free from flooding.  However, this is still a fear.

4.  Ladies, don't wear heels to your destination.

Or just don't wear heels at all.  You are going to walk your ass off here.  And heels not only hurt after the 7 block expedition to the subway, they also slow you down.  How can you run away from the homeless man stabbing you if you are voluntarily impaired by your footwear?  So, either invest in some flats, or get a big enough bag/purse to carry your heels to your destination, and then switch.  You're welcome.

5.  8 million people doesn't matter when it comes to the dating pool.

Being single in New York is not all it's cracked up to be.  Also, I'm convinced people have forgotten how to date each other.  Meeting someone the 'old fashioned' way is slowly dying, and us young 'New Yorkers' (I give myself the title loosely, I realize I'm not a NY-er, but most of the people my age out there are not either...) have forgotten how to interact without technology or alcohol.  

If you thought the odds of finding someone within 8 million people would be pretty good, you forgot to factor in location.  The island of Manhattan is 23 square miles, but if a crosstown bus or more than two subway lines are involved, you can guarantee immediate death on the relationship.  No one wants to commute more than an hour to go on a date.  No one.

6.  Even the lowliest person, fetching coffee for someone's assistant's assistant, is going to have an "I've got a job in New York attitude." 

Hi.  The photographer John Paul Caponigro once told me I "had a New York attitude."  I was incredibly proud of this compliment, even though I didn't fully understand it. Until now.  Now, when I can experience others New York attitudes, and feel so incredibly mid-western.  What happened to manners?  What happened to politeness - the whole 'catch more flies with honey' kind of sentimentality.  I'm not saying that everyone here is an asshole.  But I'm saying that everyone here is an asshole.  That said, buck up and grow some thicker skin. 

7.  Paying $5 for your favorite box of cereal is something you get used to.

Yup, the sticker shock eventually wears off.  But it's still fun to bitch about it to people when you go home.  You want to compare alcohol prices?  You want to compare milk/cereal/transportation/clothing/generalshitthatdoesn'tmatter prices?  Yup.  I'll enter this conversation, always.  Because I'll probably win.  I'm also living on a tighter budget than I was living in the mid-west.  How does it work?  I don't know, but when you want to accomplish something, you figure out how to do it.

8.  People think that just because you live here, you automatically love it.

Let's get one thing straight:  New York is a bitch sometimes.  She's tough to keep happy, and no matter how much energy you put in the relationship, you usually end up exhausted and more confused.  There is always something to do.  Endless things to keep you busy and entertained.  But it's exhausting.  There is no way you can do everything you want to do, and sometimes you just feel guilty when all you want to do is curl up on the couch and watch Mad Men for 12 hours straight and love the New York that's on your t.v. screen.

That brings me to: 
9.  The New York you do love, is the nostalgic New York.

I've been doing a lot of research on nostalgia lately (my thesis is on nostalgia in art), and it's come to my attention that for me, the New York that I absolutely adore, is the New York in my head.  I'm using nostalgia loosely here, because I don't know what New York was like before I first visited in 2008.  But I had an idea of what New York was, and those feelings pop up when I see things like the Chrysler Building or walk through Grand Central Terminal.  That memory of being a tourist and seeing something for the first time, or watching a movie and being able to say "I live near that!"  

(I'd actually like to write more about this topic, so I won't digress much more)

10.  Living in a room that barely fits my full size bed has taught me to love my life.

Living in this city might be a pain sometimes, but the experience of it has changed me forever.  I'd say if you can handle living in New York, you can handle living anywhere - but that's not entirely true.
 

Thanks, New York.  This year has been real.  Now help me find a job.